Jon in UK Cosmopolitan magazine
"why I choose nights in with my wife over wild nights out"
When he's not fronting his band or acting, Jon Bon Jovi, 40, says all
he wants is to head home to his wife Dorothea and family....
"For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a rock'n'roll star.
In the house where I grew up in Perth Amboy, New Jersey, US, there
was a mirror at the end of the hall and, from the age of 14, I used
to sing along to records in front of it and pretend to play guitar on
the mop. Around the same time, I met the woman I would eventually
marry.
Dorothea Hurley sat next to me in history class at Sayreville High
School. I doubt she knew what she was getting into then - my music
has taken me away on tour for 16 months at a time, female fans try to
sneak into my hotel bedroom and I haven't always been a saint.
That's all way in the past now. No matter what happens with work,
I'll always make the same choice - to be with her.
When I met Dorothea, she was dating one of the guy's I hung around
with. But he joined the Navy and they split up. That's what most of
the young men in my town did. I'd already decided I was going to be
a rock star, so I stayed behind and so did Dorothea. Before long, we
were dating. Three years went by and the more time we spent
together, the closer we grew. I loved the fact that Dorothea was so
sure of herself, so confident and independent. And, like me, she
knew that to achieve what she wanted in life we couldn't sit around
holding hands all day.
Dorothea wanted to be a karate instructor and to open her own school,
so she began working hard towards that. I was performing with local
bands and had dead-end jobs to make ends meet, but was still waiting
for my break. Then in 1983, when I was 21, my cousin Tony, offered
me a job at his recording studio in New York. I moved there, but it
was only about an hour from New Jersey so I wasn't far from Dorothea.
I swept floors at the studio and learned about the record business.
And that same year I formed my band Bon Jovi with my school friends
Richie Sambora on guitar, Tico Torres on drums, Dave Bryan on
keyboards and bassist Alec John Such. Within months things went
crazy. We signed a record deal with Polygram and the following year
our debut album, Bon Jovi, was released. We went straight on a
worldwide tour and, of course, I missed Dorothea. It wasn't easy to
have a relationship, but if you want to make it work, you do. Being
able to call her made the separation a bit easier.
Over the next six years, my band toured the globe, often away for
months at a time. Dorothea didn't come on the road much - just like
I was busy with my work, she was busy launching her karate school.
Weeks would go by without us seeing each other and, of course,
touring had its own temptations. The more successful we became the
more fans started doing all kinds of things to meet us. They'd try
to deliver flowers backstage or bring pizza to our hotel. Believe me,
there was more than one occasion when the maid knocked on my door and
it was hard to say no. It happened......I'm not a saint, but it's
nothing I'm proud of.
The next day, talking to those girls, it really hits home why you've
made the choices you've made - in my case to be with Dorothea. She's
my best friend and nothing can beat that.
Even though I was away all that time, we remained really close. In
fact, towards the end of our six-year period of touring, in April
1989, Dorothea and I got married in Las Vegas. By then we'd been
together for nine years and I can't say it made us feel different
about each other, as we were so close already. I think the real bond
comes when you have children and we now have three - Stephanie Rose,
nine, Jesse James, seven and Jacob who was born in May last year.
Since they all came along, I think I balance work and home life
better and I definitely take more breaks now.
I still mess up sometimes, though. In October 2001, I went to LA for
a five week stint filming Ally McBeal, where I played Victor, Ally's
love interest. When I got home, in early December, I only had two
days with Dorothea before I had to go off again and start recording
our latest album, Bounce. It's always hard only going back for a
short time and by the end of each visit I have to be dragged away!
On this occasion, the band stayed with us and Dorothea said "You're
such a jerk! Why bother coming home?" Instantly, I realized the
mistake I'd made. Dorothea is always the voice of reason, I knew she
was right. And yet again she reminded me just how important
communication is.
That's what our latest single, Misunderstood, is about. I wrote it
as an apology for Dorothea. Thankfully, she forgave me, so it must
have worked.
When I'm on the road, I see people going home to their families, and
I want to be with mine too. Every day I think how lucky I am to have
Dorothea."
"Misunderstood is out now. Bon Jovi tour the UK in June 2003."
Transcribed by Jan Baxter